I've been thinking much lately. About life. I mean, not to say I don't before, but it's just that now I observe more, interpret more, conclude more. And to the extent that it'd affect me, much.
I find myself dreaming in conclusion and flashing to the past. My mistakes, my expectations, my goals, and my winnings. I should've done more. I should've appreciated more.
Everybody else seems moving, and I, seem to be stuck in step 1.
What should I do ? You tell me .
Because here I am pondering how miserable life is, I fail to see what others are going through. Nothing compared to mine. But seriously, I always say this, and at times I mean it, at times I joke, Why is life unfair ?
You tell me .
When I was growing up, I envied what others had. A superhero.
You see, during my childhood life, I had no superhero to look up to. No one was there to help me grow up. Everyday I would just get up, live life, and come back alone. I will not be holding superhero toys, a superhero comics. Still, I continued with life.
I'm not blaming the other superheroes out there because maybe they were too busy handling their own personal life, or problems, or maybe they were just too selfish to bother that little lonely kid here.
Though, what I wonder the most is why everybody thought I had the perfect superhero to look up to. He's got everything in hand. But that was what maybe the superhero wanted everyone to believe, that he is powerful & invulnerable. That he could do handle everything perfect.
So there I was, sitting alone. Reading while I hear news of wars going on around the world. My world. How could a world be not peaceful for a child ? But maybe that IS the reality, I thought. I curled up in bed to face another brand new day ahead.
I had so few superheroes to look up to, but they were all not with me when I needed them. I lived alone, and alone. I developed my ownself.
But now it's different. Eventhough there are superheroes around, I've learnt that superheroes too, have flaws. Superheroes, are in fact very flawed. I could look up to them now, but maybe I outgrew them, or maybe it's just a little to late to do so.
Me not having my personal superheroes in life, It somehow rather affected me in many ways. Many many ways that I could not reverse myself to.
Heh :)
I find myself dreaming in conclusion and flashing to the past. My mistakes, my expectations, my goals, and my winnings. I should've done more. I should've appreciated more.
Everybody else seems moving, and I, seem to be stuck in step 1.
What should I do ? You tell me .
Because here I am pondering how miserable life is, I fail to see what others are going through. Nothing compared to mine. But seriously, I always say this, and at times I mean it, at times I joke, Why is life unfair ?
You tell me .
When I was growing up, I envied what others had. A superhero.
You see, during my childhood life, I had no superhero to look up to. No one was there to help me grow up. Everyday I would just get up, live life, and come back alone. I will not be holding superhero toys, a superhero comics. Still, I continued with life.
I'm not blaming the other superheroes out there because maybe they were too busy handling their own personal life, or problems, or maybe they were just too selfish to bother that little lonely kid here.
Though, what I wonder the most is why everybody thought I had the perfect superhero to look up to. He's got everything in hand. But that was what maybe the superhero wanted everyone to believe, that he is powerful & invulnerable. That he could do handle everything perfect.
So there I was, sitting alone. Reading while I hear news of wars going on around the world. My world. How could a world be not peaceful for a child ? But maybe that IS the reality, I thought. I curled up in bed to face another brand new day ahead.
I had so few superheroes to look up to, but they were all not with me when I needed them. I lived alone, and alone. I developed my ownself.
But now it's different. Eventhough there are superheroes around, I've learnt that superheroes too, have flaws. Superheroes, are in fact very flawed. I could look up to them now, but maybe I outgrew them, or maybe it's just a little to late to do so.
Me not having my personal superheroes in life, It somehow rather affected me in many ways. Many many ways that I could not reverse myself to.
Heh :)
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